8 million gods in Japan

日本号称有“天神地祗八百万”，大至生育出产，小至柴米油盐，均有相应的神各司其职。求神问佛是日本人的癖好，三天两头就往神社，寺庙跑，祈求得到神灵的保佑，消灾免祸。据统计，日本列岛目前共有大大小小的神社13万座，遍布城市和乡村的每一个角落。每逢夜幕降临，一阵阵乌鸦刮噪声随风飘来，为肃穆、古朴的神社平添几分寂静、几分阴森。神灵，在这里聚散；亡灵在这里出没；生者的希望，也在这里寄托。
～ 李兆忠《暧昧的日本人》

It was said that there are 8 million of gods in Japan, there is a specific god for everything start from wood, rice, oil, salt, to production. It become a special interest of Japanese people, every three days or two, they would stream into the buddhist temple or shrine, asking for protection from their gods. According to statistic, there are a total of a hundred and thirty thousand of shrines, standing in each corner of villages and cities. In the evening, the sound of the crows swift with the howling wind, added to the extra silent and gloom of the old shrines. Gods, assembly and disperse in this place. Spirits, come and go in this place. The hope of the remain, is parked in this place. ～ 李兆忠《暧昧的日本人》

Though today, statistics shown that most Japanese do not care about religion so much in their daily activities. Yet, in areas like Aomori, Shiga, Akita, Toyama, Ishikawa, temples and shrines still deeply influence the people. Even in cities like Tokyo, where people seems casually dealing with religions, yet Asakusa is never always packed not only by tourist, but the locals. Higashi Temple, Asakusa Temple are still strong holds. People take time early in the morning to the temple before work and worship. Students rush into the temples, buying charms, drawing mikuji, for fun also for guidance.

People who still go to shrine and temple today, and put a lot of effort in it are good people who wish to see changes in their lives and society. People who thirst for GUIDANCE, LOVE and PEACE. Remember this, my friends! And off we go to point the TRUTH to those who thirst! May God bless you! Amen.

遗憾

我这一生最害怕就是和人永别。今天主医治了我的头疼，我给大家弄姜汤驱风寒。正要入睡的时候，想起了外婆。以姜作饭是外婆给我们传下来的秘方。我坐起来，看着窗外的星火夜帆，想外婆怎么也没料到我有一天也会到香江吧！外婆......

我这一生最错就是在外婆和爸爸信主的时候，没有给他们安慰的说话，没有支持，只有揶揄。最疼爱我的外婆和爸爸，我最爱的外婆和爸爸，在寻觅主和得着主的那段宝贵记忆里面，我只想把他们从主的身边扯开。当时没有信的我，是个很大的绊脚石啊！外婆，爸爸，你们都在天家吧？只要心里承认，口里宣告，耶稣就会把我们把守到底不是吗？爸爸，外婆，当年那条孤单的路，求你们原谅我。

我心里更大的遗憾是在外公最后的那一年，爸爸给外公传福音的时候，我就尽量碰砸，没有让外公得着福音是我毕生的懊恼。外婆，外公，大舅舅，相继去世的时候，我不但没有给他们传过福音，还因为不信也不想他们信。我当时的确是个很糟糕的人啊！

今天，我身边很多人信了主，但也有很多人没信。我但愿身边人人信主！我不想再和任何人永别，永别是多么哀伤的事！希望在天堂里，在耶稣基督里面。当我看清楚，内里有确据的时候，让人信主比什么都来得重要。我所爱的家人啊，盼你们都能信主，并在主里站稳脚步！

曾几何时我对所爱的人都抱着怨恨，甚至怨恨着自己。很多人，我都再也见不着了！我一直孤单地行着，醒着不比醉好。当身边的人一个又一个的离我而去的时候，我的怨恨反过来烧着了自己，毁灭销魂。

我感谢神！因为神，我今天不再一个人。因为神，我的罪得赦免。因为神，吞噬我的怨恨被净化了。耶稣的宝血洗净了我污浊的灵魂。

日本有一亿人口不认识神，渴望神但不认识神。年轻的一带啊，在涉谷迷茫的一群少年人，在新宿沉沦的青年，在秋叶麻醉的寓宅族，把自己锁在房里的隐蔽一族，他们和我一样是迷失的人啊！他们是不是和过往的我一样不晓得珍惜身边的幸福？不晓得珍惜父母家庭的付出？只看见冷酷和淡然的关系，理不出埋藏于深处的温暖和封锁的热情？怨恨啊，惆怅，悲苦，痛楚，只有靠麻醉再麻醉，就像恋上自刺的少年，在未愈的伤口上再划上一刀，以疼痛麻醉自己一般。悔恨会吞噬了他们的灵魂！

主啊，你要放任他们不顾吗？主啊，我求你拯救他们的哀痛，成为他们生活的依靠，生命的凭据！
主啊，你不是我脸上的光吗？主啊，我求你如同爱我一般，爱我身边的人，叫人人都能得着那至美的福分！

Updates

1. This blog at the moment is still a mix of Roseline's personal journey and main issues of Heart4Japan, until we have enough funds and a committed expert to manage the website. The website will help to facilitate the missionaries and intercessors in spiritual mapping!

2. There is an outreach program organized by Lorraine Sakka! Keep an eye on it so that you can participate in it! Good thing is you just need to sit back, relax, read a letter, and respond at your desk. That's all it takes! Write to me, if you wish to participate in this program!

3. There is an outreach/ exploratory trip to Japan organized by OM, please sign up!

4. I had developed another group, "HIKIKOMORI Concern" in the facebook. I am hoping to develop a network/support group for Hikikomori. One need not to be a Christian to join this group, but experiences dealing with Hikikomori is the main target. Please intercede for this group and its members!

5. For the research of Hikikomori and the Japanese teens, I am working on BBS and manga as well as some drama series. At this time, I need to get closer to God more than ever! Please intercede for me, for spiritual discernment and wisdom in time management as well as language ability. Pray that my heart will not be wearied by worldly pressures.

Appreciate of your prayers

Manga and it's elements

In the Japanese manga, JUMP series is the top manga series that most welcomed by readers. Weekly Shonen Jump (週刊少年ジャンプ Shūkan Shōnen Janpu?), better known as Shonen Jump, with a circulation of over 3 million, is one of the longest-running weekly manga compilations in Japan.

Bleach, Gintama (Silver Soul), Hunter × Hunter, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, One Piece, Samurai Usagi, Dragon Ball, Rurounin Kenshin, Slam Dunk, Death Note, etc. were all best selling manga not only in Japan, but Hong Kong, Taiwan, Thailand, even the West.

The main theme that made it most selling item are always: Friendship, Strive, Victory.

Business make a good sense of desires, an item can only be good seller when it is catered to the psychology desires of the customers. "Friendship", "Strive", "Victory" drives the heartbeat of the readers! In another word, there are always these 3 elements in their dream, TEENAGE DREAM!

He knows my needs!

A friend dropped by my place this evening, and found my blanket was not good enough for winter. So, she bought me a 4LB blanket to keep me warm. It was indeed a great blessing!

I will have a warm winter this year, with all the blessings that you had given me! A room by myself, a warm blanket, storage of food and friendship etc., all these had given before I asked. He knows my need!

DEREGISTERED

Just as I thought I was happy to get an accommodation in the student dormitory, and "happily" being a Hikikomori, I was caught in another mess. I had been DEREGISTERED by the school for non-payment of the tuition fees.

Something about myself:

I am a missionary in Hong Kong, preparing to Japan. I am doing a master study in Hong Kong University, on the subject of Hikikomori, a phenomena where people live inside their rooms "only". A social withdrawal phenomena which is common in Japan and other mainly developed cities.

God had taken care of the financial part so far, and it was really by His grace that I had walked thus far.

I had finished almost all the modules, and left only the research and two more courses to go. However I had deregistered from the school because of not being able to pay my tuition fees.

Meaning = I can't go to the library; I can't join the class, nor take the exams.
( But one thing I can do: that is continue my research! :-) or being a Hikikomori! I guess no one can really stop that though.....)

I need to raise HKD 31,250 X 2 for 2007/2008. The first one within this month, the second one in Jan08.

I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to do about this... I can't borrow from people because I will continue to be a missionary which means I will not have a fix certain income even after I graduate, thus I might not have have means to pay back. Nothing really promised. Unless someone gives because of the good Lord.

Let's pray!

HIKIKOMORI ?

へやからこの景色を見目ます。
从我房间看出去有这般景色，不错吧！
The view from my room......

Test of Commitment and Love

My heart burst out of joy as I received the letter of offer for the dormitory this morning! I felt it was God just purposely made it that way, so to show me alongside this journey, there will be others to walk together, and getting INVOVLED.

The offer had not been made until someone being my advocate, organizing, helping to raise concern about this poor girl who have no place to stay, getting people who are willing to host me, then others came by to offer shelter and care. And then added on a further disappointment on the terrible condition of the residence house which challenged us to think of an alternative stay till January.

I have a strange feeling that if it was not the invitation being made by L. and C. for me to extend my stay with them; and the willingness and openness of Uncle T. to host me in earlier while other friends are coming to stay in Louisa's place next week yesterday evening, the offer will still delay.

It's strange to tie these together, but as I remember the promise He made, "The Church is coming in!" I felt this is what He meant. To show me that I'm not alone, and His family is going to care for me. Put it another way, it is also TEST of commitment and love.

It is not only about Methodist International for this chapter, but also the members of Full Gospel Assembly and Heart4Japan. I received many notes of prayers offered, love gifts and encouragement from all over, and God certainly remember all those who were involved. I just feel that He is strengthening the tie, and cleansing His temple... God, help me! Forgive me! and lead me on!

毛虫、患难、鼓励

总觉得自己似乎一条毛毛虫，在茧里，等待着蜕变，又极不急待地伸展、挣扎。一共夹缠了喜悦、盼望、等待、守候、兴奋、悲伤。怎说呢？大概就像一个少年，时而激进、时而无病呻吟。

我想大家都在期待着这一条毛毛虫，到底从茧里冲出来的时候，是只怎样的蝴蝶，能飞的多远？我自己也在期待着。

患难和苦楚。
保罗说：“我们受患难呢，是为叫你们得安慰，得拯救。我们得安慰呢，也是为叫你们得安慰；这安慰能叫你们忍受我们所受的那样苦楚。我们为你们所存的盼望是确定的，因为知道你们既是同受苦楚，也必同得安慰。”我看着保罗所受的，见证着他所领受的，就加增了我的信心。神给我的心做了见证，也因为基督，再神面前才有这样的信心。并不是自己能承担什么事，一切所能承担的也是出于神。在心版上所刻下的见证，叫我坦然面对，不因人的举荐，乃因神自己的灵所写下的职分。众宣教士先贤所走过的路，有被记录下来的，也有被遗忘的，但是曾经刻画下的足迹却没有被上帝遗忘。困苦、艰难或舒坦，都与神共舞了。每一滴眼泪都记录在他的皮袋子里。人可以忘记，可以选择性记忆，但是神不能忘记。

有时候，神会在我们身旁安排一些有共同梦想、追求的人一块同行。有时候，路上形单只影，这一些都是必然。爱里有足够的信心，信带给我们希望。愿我们所受的大大小小的苦楚，教我们不能靠自己，只能靠叫死人复活的神，勉励每一个即将走上这条道路的人。也因苦难中的笑容和盼望，激励着每一个同在患难中的同行者。愿我自己，在每一次上路的时候，无论一个人还是有伴同行都紧紧记住主的信实与恩典够我用。阿门。


（林后）

My journey falls into His plans

Praise God! I have a place to stay now. A sister offered her study room for me until the dorm takes me in. (I hope the dorm wouldn't take so long......)

I believe all theses are added to the long list of His account, for what He install ahead for all the people that He had put together in the search of accommodation and the support in my preparation course in HK... my friends that host me, prayed for me, looked around for me, CEDARS, halls, church...

It was always amazing to see how things moved and fall into its place. I always believe that I cannot outgive God, and my plans just don't work before Him. As for the halls or the position of tutors, I felt that God must have a good reason in this.

I know He will in the end grant me a place in the hall, somehow I just felt that is His will. However, if He wants it to happen, it will happen! irregardless what it is going to take. He is BIGGER!

Yet, I also have a strange feeling in me that, at this moment, He wants me to be of an encouragement to someone else, or to learn something, or to be there for something/someone for a moment. So, He planned someone for me to stay in with, for that season. And that test my patience and perseverance, and also our understanding about His faithfulness and grace.

Although I stepped into the problems, and went to Jesus, allowing myself in that humble state, being weak and to rely totally on His strength. Yet, I couldn't help to "help" myself with the situation, that cost a lot of anxieties, rather then being still. So, that's something that I need to overcome.

The stay with my previous host was incredible! Prophetic!

The story goes.... Vivian passed me a gift last night as I moved out, a post card with my name written on it while she visited Vatican this summer. The address was her home address. In another word, she sent a post card home by putting my name as a recipient. And both of us didn't even know the hostel is not giving me a place, even as I waited till October.

:-) Wasn't it amazing? I am really convinced that my journey falls right into His hands.

Till then......

"Planning" can have so many meanings......

" dear sister, learn to plan -- if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. " A caring elder sister in Christ told me this morning as she found out my needs in searching for an accommodation.

"planning"... seems like a  jargon word to me.

If "planning" is about counting the cost, I had. If "planning" is about seeing which move is the best, and get things ready before the next move, then I had not done so.

If I have planned, I wouldn't be coming to Hong Kong. I would go to US instead to earn a scholarship, and still do public health. But sometimes, it is just so hard for me, to plan in advance, I always turned my eyes to my strength and abilities, what I have, rather than what He has done for me, and thus what He has in me was not seen. Planning, can't really put that away, unseen, but you felt most secure for deep down in my heart, I know that He will provide. He is honest, faithful and trustable. So, as I am convinced that I should go, what I needed to do is only trust and obey, and GO.

I'm afraid that there is a sound of  "laziness" in this matter, putting everything in God's hand....... but somehow I just felt that is what He intended me to learn. I had been always taking care of myself, doing appropriate planning, I was a good event planner, always have alternate plans for each events. Plan A, plan B, plan C, and I was such a perfectionist, that I wanted to plan everything. But for Heart4Japan, or to prepare myself in Hong Kong in the area of Public Health, I didn't plan. I couldn't, for me myself had to spend a year to figure why and how I ended up this way. It was too quick, everything happened just in a second, but I was greatly convinced that was the right thing to do at that moment. There is a peace to continue to follow His plans rather then trying to figure out what His plans are going to be.

During the four months in Malaysia, to be honest, I always struggled if I have to come back. Thinking about what it is going to be......and thinking about having to have the whole scene replay in this semester was enough to make me sick. I knew I would have no place to stay when I come back, I felt I will be too weak to go through this. However, thinking about it, and remembering His goodness, seeing the growth of the ministry, and seeing so many had been touched, and revived for their love and calls to Japan, the excitement grew! And I knew that He would have a good reason for me, as I need to go through this... One of that, perhaps it was being advised, "Plan! Learn to plan!"

Planning... I did count the cost, and I knew I wouldn't be able to pay for it. But, somehow strange enough, there was a peace in me, encouraging me to pursue the dream. A dream to be soar with Him, and just trust Him. So, as I counted the cost, I saw what it had to take...... I still have no solutions, but yet time was running out. It was either to complete the study, obeying the call, trusting Him in advance, or to quit and serve the Lord back home, knowing that He will still loves me and provides me even if I chose to avoid Heart4Japan or staying alone in Hong Kong to accept the training.

I guess, going to Japan will be even tougher. The experience in Hong Kong will give me that strength to stand firm in Japan later.

I really thank God for such precious advice, for I know this person really loves me and she had spoke through her experiences. I chose a difficult road to tread. Research is again a jargon for me. I'm not that academic brilliant, and doing research is really killing in little guidance that I could have.

Again, the Japanese culture is so different from mine, and sometimes I just feel so scare......

Till here, I have great peace, more than ever. I miss home, I don't really know how to plan, but there is a peace to wait and trust.

回港小感

回来后，基于寄居的地方过小，而且光线太差，深夜里没有办法如常操作。白天的时间太匆促，不断地徘徊于不安定之中，很难静下心来好好地写文章。

我心里没有为自己的处境心烦，但是寄居之处却为我心烦。这样的状况，还真有点尴尬。而且这个家庭是非基督徒，慢慢了解下来，神助我讨人喜悦，但是穷苦寒酸的教徒似乎印证了一般人对基督徒的stereotype，不是个好见证。这样想的时候，自己也不禁紧张起来。她妈说："你这么大胆，是不是就是你们基督徒所说的什么'神招'? 我有好几个朋友也这样。我有一个朋友的丈夫是宣教士，教会支助，但是生活不是过得很好。我真的不明白为什么这种事也能和上帝扯上关系？"

当然感谢神，因为这样，我也有机会跟她说见证，但是因为我朋友对福音的抗拒，每一次要进入福音的话题的时候，总是没有办法继续下去，有时候是因为一些干扰。

地方太小，没有私人空间，光线差，要祷告灵修也不容易。然而感谢神！我好歹也住在中半山，有钱人的地方！想回马来西亚述职以前我也住了沙宣道。感谢神，这个家庭真的很照顾我。只是，这样的日子持续太久，难免会给人带来不便。而且我须要尽快有一个稳定的落脚处，Heart4Japan 和 hikikomori 的工作都须要一个office。我更须要一个地方可以让我安静祷告、灵修、写作。加上我这种日夜颠倒的工作方式，还有服事，我需要尽快有个地方。

如何在燃眉之急中安静等待，在不信的人面前呈现的是依靠神的决心，而非懒散占便宜的心态，对于我现在这种状况而言很不容易。靠信心度日的生活就算是基督徒，未曾走过也不能明白，更何况对于非信徒来说更是匪夷所思。毕竟，今天的世代非当日初代教会的凡物共用，不分彼此。福音加上人为的不善处理时常不经意的就成了别人信主的绊脚石。希望这一家人能信神。母亲和女儿分别在天主教和基督教的学校长大，都没能相信神，似是而非的懂，求主怜悯！香港的教会所办的学校，似乎都呈公式化，渐渐失去了宣教的意义。求神原谅祂的仆人，也求主来复兴这里的学校。

你 们 不 要 倚 靠 君 王 ， 不 要 倚 靠 世 人 ； 他 一 点 不 能 帮 助 。他 的 气 一 断 ， 就 归 回 尘 土 ； 他 所 打 算 的 ， 当 日 就 消 灭 了 。以 雅 各 的 神 为 帮 助 、 仰 望 耶 和 华 ─ 他 　 神 的 ， 这 人 便 为 有 福 ！ 耶 和 华 造 天 、 地 、 海 ， 和 其 中 的 万 物 ； 他 守 诚 实 ， 直 到 永 远 。（诗篇146：3-6）

很多基督徒因为不知道自己的使命，和自己在神的计划里所能参与部分，失去了与神同工的美丽见证！无论是施或受，无一不是因着神的恩典。不能充分地了解这一点，是很难跨上信心的一步。充满质疑，步步为营，也不见得就事事顺利。我虽看起来似遇上困境，但是因为耶和华与我同在，却也事事顺利。这不就是约瑟的生命吗？

腰 袋 里 不 要 带 金 银 铜 钱 。行 路 不 要 带 口 袋 ； 不 要 带 两 件 褂 子 ， 也 不 要 带 鞋 和 ? 杖 。 因 为 工 人 得 饮 食 是 应 当 的 。你 们 无 论 进 那 一 城 ， 那 一 村 ， 要 打 听 那 里 谁 是 好 人 ， 就 住 在 他 家 ， 直 住 到 走 的 时 候 。 进 他 家 里 去 ， 要 请 他 的 安 。 那 家 若 配 得 平 安 ， 你 们 所 求 的 平 安 就 必 临 到 那 家 ； 若 不 配 得 ， 你 们 所 求 的 平 安 仍 归 你 们 。（太10：9-13）

接 待 你 们 就 是 接 待 我 ； 接 待 我 就 是 接 待 那 差 我 来 的 。 人 因 为 先 知 的 名 接 待 先 知 ， 必 得 先 知 所 得 的 赏 赐 ； 人 因 为 义 人 的 名 接 待 义 人 ， 必 得 义 人 所 得 的 赏 赐 。 无 论 何 人 ， 因 为 门 徒 的 名 ， 只 把 一 杯 凉 水 给 这 小 子 里 的 一 个 喝 ， 我 实 在 告 诉 你 们 ， 这 人 不 能 不 得 赏 赐 。（太10：4-42）

我寄居的这家庭将得平安！神的话因祂的名字持久不变！阿门！

TALK, WALK

As encouragement always being accompanied by discouragement, and discouragement being accompanied by encouragement, I guess what God is training us to, is to tune our mind and focus to His goodness and Faithfulness, also to learn how not to be distress in disappointments.

Many times, the disappointments do not come from the enemies and nonbelievers, but the fellow believer who had TALK more than WALK. Often, someone you trusted for the relationship that we have in Christ, promised you one thing, and turn out to be an empty one.  And when this happens, both side will have a different story. I guess, we need to repent!

It's not the time to compare what I had sacrificed or what you had done, nothing that we do can outgive God. We give it willingly in God, it's out of  love that we give. I know people who read this will probably agree, but do check our hearts as we agree. Do not be hypocrite. Repent if we hold resentment of what we had given.

Let's the people who joined Heart4Japan WALK more than TALK. Constantly check our hearts for what we do.

The good thing about having JESUS, is not that we will become a good person, nor we will do the right thing. But it is about having HIM, we will not be affected even in the stormy wind. And that takes TRUST, and ACTION! In the midst of storm, JESUS commanded the wind to stop. When the multitude were hungry, JESUS fed them. When the disciples were hungry, JESUS allowed them to take the grain on a Sabbath. When Peter fell into the water, JESUS extended His hand. When Peter could not catch a single fish, JESUS gave the direction. When the leaper needed healing, JESUS touched him. So much more....... If JESUS is here today, what do you think HE will do? Aren't we JESUS followers?


Stop BRAGGING, I urge you. But Start DOING!

牺牲的寡妇

我的肚子一直在翻腾，不由自主地脑海里面就浮起妈妈一个人忙家务、盲工作、一个人呆在家、一个人吃饭、闷闷地没有一个倾诉的对象。

很少人会省察到其实在这个宣教路途中，付出最多、作出最大牺牲的其实是我的母亲。

求主记念我的母亲！

Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 要 尊 敬 那 真 为 寡 妇 的 。 若 寡 妇 有 儿 女 ， 或 有 孙 子 孙 女 ， 便 叫 他 们 先 在 自 己 家 中 学 着 行 孝 ， 报 答 亲 恩 ， 因 为 这 在 神 面 前 是 可 悦 纳 的 。（1Tim 提前5:3-4）

那把孩子献上的妇女蒙神的喜悦！

The Widow's Offering ~ Luke 路加21：1-3

As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. "I tell you the truth," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others.

耶 稣 抬 头 观 看 ， 见 财 主 把 捐 项 投 在 库 里 ， 又 见 一 个 穷 寡 妇 投 了 两 个 小 钱 ， 就 说 ： 我 实 在 告 诉 你 们 ， 这 穷 寡 妇 所 投 的 比 众 人 还 多 ！

Warnings served as Encouragement, thankyou Lord!

There are four warnings that I often give to people who are considering missionary work.

1. You heart will be broken many times and you will face many disappointment.
2. You will face financial pressures, battles and problems and also a wide range of differences of opinion on life-style and how money should be spent.
3. You will discover that it is sometimes relatively easy to get started on a project but unbelievably hard to keep it going and at the same time keep the loyalty of the people with whom you are working.
4. You will discover that roots of bitterness can come in very easily in Christian work, which sometimes, due to satanic opposition, can be more difficult and complex than in secular work, especially when money and other motivating forces are absent.

........ Keeping a balance though between faith goals and unrealistic expectations is part of the process of counting the cost.

~ by George Verwer , founder of Operation Mobilization ~

I recorded this as an encouragement to myself, and to you who perhaps facing the same situation.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! I got all FOUR!!!

It is really Grace Awakening. If George faces all these, and if many other missionaries do, why do I think I should escape from this? My problem was I had kept trying to avoid disappointment, rejecting discouragement, and most often, tried to meet all needs, all cries, all expectations. Then, by failing to do so, I blame it on Satanic opposition, and I'll dig and dig to see if I have any open doors in my life towards sin that had caused this hindering obstacles in my path. I had trusted in a lie that "If God had called you to do this, He will make your path smooth, that you will not harvest bitterness in you." "If things are not moving right, it is because of you sin!" "If you get sick, and that is because you are living in such life-style." And now I need to repent.

Blames and accusations can come from all angles. Beware, my friends!

Bible do not speak that way. Most often these people who said these to you, are not going to be> the people who walk with you. Forget about them (i'm sorry for being blunt...), but I doubt they had really care and spent time even just to pray for you. We need to have watchmen for our lives, for our ministries! They is no point getting someone to sit on that position, but then they are not watching for you. Let the Word of the Lord govern us, and let Himself be our watchman, and let us watch over ourselves by the passage above -- the true experiences of many missionaries whom their lives were full of unanswered prayer, but they refused to be discouraged by these.

Let us be encouraged once again! And I thank God revealing to me this truth. I had been very cautious not to allow myself to be puffed up, and yet, I had also in subtleties of putting myself down in an unbiblical way. God help me! Forgive me, Lord!

The book of prophets shall give me strength!

And I believe it does to you!

Quotes

World Evangelism cannot be won without paying the PRICE!

Most Christians want all of the privileges and none of the responsibilites.

You do have to be aware of the needs and opportunities throughout the world as you consider your own future.

The Great Commission is more than a call for you or me to leave where we are and go somewhere ese. There is a course a great need for people to go but there is a greater need for each of us to take up our own responsibility for the church's response to the Great Commission; to be personally involved in it whatever our particular role maybe.

You are called to make a decision!

C.S. Lewis said that we have the tendency to think and feel, but not to act. If we go on feeling and thinking, but not acting, then one day we will be unable to act.

PAIN

Lately, there is a constant fear that grips me. When it comes, I can't sleep, I can't rest, I can't think of any other thing else.

The fear of going back to Hong Kong.

The fear of not having raise financial support before I leave.

The fear of not having raise prayer partners before I leave.

The fear of having ministry partners who SPEAK more than they DO.

The fear of not having accomodation when I reach Hong Kong.

The fear of going to the academic to ask for deferment of school fees payment.

The fear of seeing my professor to negotiate on my dissertation of Hikikomori.

The fear of looking for accomodation.

The fear of not having money to pay the rent.

The fear of hunger.

The fear of loneliness.

The fear of not having money for transportation.

The fear of being long away from home.

The fear of not having enough data for the research of Hikikomori.

The fear of getting involve things beyond focus.

The fear of neglecting people who need a fresh touch of the Lord.

The fear of neglecting people who need a pair of listening ears.

The fear of meeting people who put false hope in me.

The fear of left behind bills to pay.

The fear of meeting hollow faith person in Heart4Japan.

The fear of blank promises.


The feeling is so contrast while compare with previous year as I stepped out with a simple faith. It was by faith that Abraham obyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. (Hebrews11:8) Now I begin to understand why He had always led me step by step. He never revealed His whole plan to me. It is always a step of faith that brought me closer, a step of obedience that brought me to the next door. I guess that is what it needs to be done. I remembered someone told me, if God would had revealed to you His whole plan, perhaps you will be so fearful that you wouldn't be able to step out for it.

and Yes, now I understand. Because I am going back to the same place, and because I had experienced sorrows and difficulties, and for worse I discovered my weaknesses and my unworthiness in times. Once I thought I had lost my faith. But now, I know, it is not about faith. I still trust that the Lord will provide all my needs. I still trust that the Lord will lead me through. I still trust that He will never leave me or forsake me. And He said, "Heart4Japan is MY ministry!" Yet, fears greet me.

Or to be exact, these are not fears, but PAIN......

I love the Lord. I don't want to miss the train of REVIVAL in Japan, yet I'm tired of being Zorro. I wish to move together with a team of people who love the Lord, who are committed, who are willing to serve. Walking together in this journey, encouraging each other, praying alongside for each other! There are so few......

George Verwer said, "Finance seems to be the greatest obstacle..... the real obstale is a lack of love, faith and biblical commitment." And that is piercing to my ears. The greatest needs in the missions field are always PEOPLE and FINANCE. We can have PEOPLE, but no FINANCE; or we can have FINANCE, but no PEOPLE; sometimes BOTH.

Yet, I had also learned. Disappointment in evangelism can often be God's appointment to teach us smething greater and something better. Great biblical, moutain-moving faith does not happen without doubts, struggles and discouragement or even sin. While I stand aginst the fiery dart of discouragement, I believe we all need to repent and turn from all that is hindering us from doing God's will in our day, repent from our unwillingness to pay the price!

信心与考验

最近教会向我邀稿，叫我写在信心踏步的经历和学习，字数限于一百。结果我不小心写了二千多个字。后来再改，反而成了三千多个字。哈哈！看看稿件，觉得把香港的生活和挣扎也写得够淋漓尽致的，于是就把它转成PDF，当成生活报告。

我平时说起这事的时候也是够简短的，总是说："上帝很好！"现在总算是被迫把自己解剖一下，把扫到地毯地下的心情暴光。

相信其实大家都有共同相似的经历。有谁决定走上服事的路的时候没有经过考验？我妈时常说，"某某人是食过夜粥的。"想来没有熬苦，又如何能体会熬苦人的心情呢？嘿嘿，就大方地和大家分享一下，自娱的同时也好彼此鼓励鼓励。

其实说真也并不是我不愿说。只不过我有太多的话要说，难得有人愿意听的时候，那我宁愿提日本。日本有许多需要。而这些需要对我来说都是燃眉的。先求祂的国和祂的义，然后一切都会加给你们。我愿意相信。

HOPE

Hope in Heart4Japan

As of the last check this afternoon, Heart4Japan group in Facebook had achieved 84 members around the world.

If 10% from this group of people can commit to start a Heart4Japan support group in thier own church, or within their own friends, I believe that we can then support at least five people to the field next year, or at least having workers working on a certain issue with regards to Japan.

As I was teaching and sharing about missions back home during my furlough, they were people who came to me and share with me that God had stirred them to pray for Japan. Some asked if I can bring them to Japan for a short mission trip. Some shared with me that they had been working on their Japanese neighbours and found it difficult to share values and gain trust.

I am hoping more from this of course.


Time is limited - Research, missions, classes

I'm not sure what will happen, and how God is leading us on. But my time is limited. I will be going back to Hong Kong to continue my study in public health in Oct. Soon as I go home, I will zoom into the study and research on Hikikomori. With that, I will be working with social workers and care givers of these marginal youth. I was not able to gain data in Malaysia and Singapore. The division of depression, social isolation and net addiction are yet to clear. I have only another year to go before gaining an entrance to Japan. The progress is slow, and I need patience.

However I was able to get a client in my Busan trip. As I am going to Indonesia for an outreach tomorrow, I am not sure if God will lead me to a client or a case.

Indonesia Outreach

I praise God for this open door and opportunity to serve in Indonesia. It is always good to be able to work together with the church in missions. To me, it is an honour to fight side by side with my peers.

We will be speaking in 3 churches tomorrow evening, and estimating not less than 300 people for each session. I am taking one of the session. I was praying and was still uncertain about the message that God wants to give to His people until 2 hours earlier, I finally had it ready. The theme would be very much towards "FAITH, TRUST and Get Close to GOD!" Please pray together with me that I will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and be ready to summit to His leading.

I will be giving a testimony on Saturday evening, estimating 600 people. In both, we will be going to speak in Bahasa. I really need boldness. Please pray that the Lord will loose our tongues and give us words of wisdom as we minister to the people.

As we come back from Indonesia, I will be caught with a few more teaching and classes. Please pray for strength.


Plans???

I have some plans in my mind, and I hope that can allow people who has a heart for Japan to participate together. I'll update it to the site when I have more peace. (I'm still praying about some of those plans)


Miss you!