A Deaf Friend Who Is In Hunger For God

My dear friends,

Introducing a friend...Winnie, deaf
I would like to highlight to you a person, a friend of mine, a deaf Christian lady. She had came to know the Lord 2 years ago, We have been sharing a lot and witnessing each other's growth. She always amazed me, I think God must have probably introduced her to my life to set a fire in my heart, and to encourage me to move on in times that I'm down and having fears. She is Winnie, the girl in the picture at the right of the top corner of this blog.

Hunger For Christ
She went to the Chinese church because she wanted to learn more about Christ. She does her bible study and she prays fervently. She has her quiet time with the Lord, asking him many questions and being settled with many comforts in Him. She had boldly came in to the "hearing" world, and communicate with people, join them in worship and services to the Lord. She always know about her disability, but she has a dream. A dream that leads people to the Lord with effective ways, a dream that being an example to the deaf that they can live normally in the "normal" world, a dream to be missionary, to tell people about Christ, Peace, Love and Hope!

Test Of Faith
Many times, she cries in the night, feeling that she needs to respond the Lord, fulfilling her duties as a Christian, being called by the Lord. She is just simple, and wants to grow and be deepened in the Lord! Recently she was struggling on a test of faith. She wants to go to Korea for a Christian deaf camp in October, she had not thought about it earlier, but she was encouraged by the Lord in early September. After many prayers, she knew that she had to go...

Here is her testimony...... ( her original work )


Dear my friends,


How are ya duin there? Its a good testimony indeed and I think you should read it. Then you will know how truly God is so good towards you so far...

I have been thinking about going to Korea recently, a quite long time... It's due to my facing financial problem. Sometimes,i become scared and started thinking nonsense. Hence, there were some of my friends send me some SMS messages asking whether I have confirmed on going to Korea with them or not and i have transfered money to her bank account for airplane ticket payment or not. On that moment, I feel stressful yet still confused. Since i am like that, then I started to pray for God as well as I need His help to guide me on leading my life to the right path.

At nite, I have chatted with Pastor Kim from South Korea on MSN. We were discussing about the trip to Korea. I felt sorry for them because they are facing with their trouble which I brought. After that, I need to take rest n try make a laidback on my brain. Next afternoon, I prayed to God again and this time, i asked Him whether I should go to Korea and tried to get some hints from Him as I was willing to obey His Will and Command giving my life to Him as well. Then i have made up my decision to draw money from my bank account. I was actually worried when i checked my bank account. My saving left so not much for me. It can be told that its my own fault because I was really spendthift. I feel that I myself am really useless. However, I still transfered my money into my friend's account bank.Finally i suddenly felt so peaceful and better even than before. Thanks to God, He gave me such a feeling. I was so touched. I praised Him so much in my heart.

Then, I went to my hometown visiting my family altogther with my sister's bf who fetched me from Kuala Lumpur. Upon my departure for Kuala Lumpur, there came up with people handling moneys to me and this person is my father indeed. I felt like my eyes almost filled with tears... God is faithful and He truly never broke His promise on me as He have said before. Then, there came again with people giving me money and its my sister. They are really care about me. Hallelujah Lord!!!
May God overflow His bless on you always!!!!

With Love,
Winnie Wei
peychyun2004@gmail.com


Why do I care about Winnie?
I was touched, many times by just looking at her. The way she worship, the way she responded to the altar calls, the way her tears roll in her eyes whenever she hears a message of crucifies, and knowing the Unreached. She had came to Heart4Japan to hear about the Lost Kingdom. She had always been giving sacrificially to others. And she gave to me too.

She makes a good impression to everyone who sees her and knows her. She tried to knock on every mission door: OM, OMF, Baptist Missions, "Is God going to open a door for me? Can I serve you, Lord? I'm a deaf, I'm disable, how could I serve you O LORD, teach me!" These are her cries.....

Cooking at my new apartment

Finally, my got my rice cooker, rice, oil, and I'm able to cook! :-) Long awaited moment, I enjoy cooking, especially when I'm far away from home. Cooking ease my pain while I am homesick.

Yeah, a good testimony! I tried to do krah-tong (deep fried veges), I never done it before, but I love the taste. (krah-tong - Its the dark green one in the middle of the dish. Aaron will remember it! It was one of the pleasant memories about eating while we were in Ranong last Nov) The oil was heated up fiercely with the presence of the washed vege. I ran to the door and peeped at the explosion of oil when the vege was dancing in the hot pot, it's like making pop corns. The oil splashed out on me as I had no choice but to approach it boldly to turn the gas off, but it really smell good... I just literally thank God for it, and you know what, I was not burnt nor hurt at all although it was terribly pain. Praise Jesus! He was wounded and I was healed. What a good God that we serve!

For Behold, The Day is Coming!

Malachi 4:1-3 "For behold, the day is coming, burning like a furnace; and all the arrogant and every evildoer will be chaff; and the day that is coming will set them ablaze," says the Lord of hosts, "so that it will leave them neither root nor branch." "But for you who fear My name the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall. And you will tread down the wicked, for they shall be ashes under the soles ofyour feet on the day which I am preparing," says the Lord of hosts.

一心一意，願尋求你的旨意。願我此刻知你是神。I want to know more, guide me Lord!

It's MY Vison, not yours!

At last, I had moved into my new apartment. I took a whole evening to try to set up things and make it right. Then, I had a sleepless night. Maybe too excited......

Going for the second meeting
This afternoon, is the second meeting for Heart4Japan in Hong Kong. I'm a bit nervous. Our first meeting was on Sep18, I left Malaysia on Aug 18, so it brought special meaning to me. :-)

Things that happened in the past month...
In the same time, Makoto is meeting a lot of Japanese Christians and missionaries in who are plowing His field in another hard ground, encouraging, but also fall sick often. Rie and Kazue returned home to continue their spiritual journey and practical battle for the Lord. Mayumi's father passed away in Kyushu.

God is moving, so are we. The vision became clearer, and the settings are getting into place. Witnessing the faithfulness of God is marvelous, in the same time frightful.

Getting The Church To Involve... What Does It Mean?
Recently God had been speaking to me on one thing: "It is time to get your church participate in My mission. The vision is mine, and the mission in not plainly for you. It is time to get the church involve." The prompting became much fierce during yesterday service. What does it mean, Lord?

It was a pleasant surprised this morning, as I found out myself had became a part of the contribution factors to the population of Hong Kong from year 2006-2008.

Imagine, then if I'm going to Japan after this, I would again contribute to the population count in that particular year.

无题

这里的海虽然在南边，看不见清晨的太阳，颜色的替换想也不比朝东的海畔那般多姿多彩，然而伴着四周小鸟的啁啾声，海面上三三两两盘旋而飞的海鹰，稀疏地来往岛屿的船只所划出的破浪，海面连岛连天的颜色还是在短短的一句钟里彩上了几层的颜色，亮了！明亮，原来是这样的简洁。

ABORTION in Japan

Abortion

The Maternity Protection Act (MPA) authorizes certified doctors to perform artificial abortion on women pregnant 21 weeks or less when the following conditions are met:
1) Pregnancy or delivery is likely to jeopardize the pregnant woman’s health in either physically or economically
2) The woman got pregnant because of rape
Whether the requesting woman meets the above conditions is up to the certified doctors’ judgment.

341,588 reported abortions in 2001 (Awakening: More than the known figure of 0.2% of church goers! )

The number of reported abortions in 2001 was 341,588, of which only 192 were because of rape. All others were performed for protection of maternal health either physically or economically. Majority of abortions are performed in early stage (11 weeks of gestation) of pregnancy, by which time no reporting of still births are required.

Were you stunned about the figures above? Then, look at this...
1.17 million abortions in 1955

The number of abortions has declined to a quarter since 1955, when the number hit 1.17 million.

Urgency of Teenage Ministry/ School Ministry

However the number of abortions of teenagers per age group 15-19 has steadily increased perhaps because of younger sexual activities and non-use of oral contraceptive pills (OCP has not been approved until quite recently). Currently approximately 11.9 per 1000 teenage girls undergo abortions annually (2003), more than doubled since 1995 when the figure was 6. MHLW aims to reduce unwanted pregnancies and abortions in teenagers by half for next 10 years.

The situation had alarmed the society. The public health figures begin to work on it. WHAT ABOUT US? The honorable field workers, are we doing anything? The sending base, are we doing anything? Can we do anything about this?

How about sending people that are specialized in this field, feed them on these information, train them to participate in one of those efforts that the government is trying to do. When religions measurement and moral ethics were raised, are we Christians able to be of influence?


Notes: In 2001, 13.6% of the mothers who went through abortions were below 20 and 45.5% of the mothers were from 20-29. 56.6% of the abortions were less than 7 weeks.

References: www.jpha.or.jp/jpha/english/ Japan Public Health Association, Tokyo

Efforts of Public Health v.s. Declination of Birth Rate in Japan

Success of Japan In Infant Mortality

Japan had done an excellent job in the maternal and child health. A sharp reduction of infant mortality was observed in 1975. Now, Japan is one of the lowest among the developed countries.

What had the Public Health policies that were implemented to achieve such significant result?

Public Health Practice

Excellent Maternal Care & Follow Up of Infants

It was claimed to be the success of MHC (Municipal Health Center). Pregnant mothers were given free health guidance and preventive medical activities as well as a health record for the child through the course of pregnancy and after birth. Health guidance and consultation by public health nurses may continue after birth especially when the new born babies are weighed 2500mg or less, in which case parents are required to report to the local public health centers to prompt them for quick action.

Mass Screening for Diseases

All newborn babies are entitled for public funded mass screening to detect congenital metabolic diseases such as phenylketonuria, and for the babies born to HB positive mothers, immunoglobulin and vaccination will be provided as part of health insurance benefit.

To detect preventable causes of intellectual impairments such as phenylketouria, cretinism, neuroblastoma etc. mass screening program for neonates has been conducted since 1977.

Insurance

For very low birth weight babies who require intensive care after birth, health insurance coverage starts on the first day of their births as dependent family status of their parent's health insurance. The usually required 20-30% co-payment will be waived by public funding for the babies whose birth weight below 2000g. All babies are entitled to free well-baby check ups twice at the age of 1.5 years and 3 years, all of which are provided by municipal governments.

Efforts of Public Health v.s. Declination of Birth Rate

Looking into these measurements that the government had taken, we could see the weight of attention in the newborns, or with the younger generations of tomorrow. But then, ironically inspite of all these excellent facilities, the birth rate in Japan is continue in decline. The alarming birth rate figure had left Japan into a futureless tomorrow within the next 50 years, accompany with huge aging unproductive problems. What is happening in Japan? If maternal and infant care is not the setback for having a baby, then what is the reason for not having babies?

Values

Risks and Perceptions

Could it be a medical issue? Could it be a moral issue? Or could it be a perception issue? Or could it be the finance burdens in raising up a child? Comparing the baby blooms immediate after WW2 and 1970s, it clearly depicts a change of value in the lives of the Japanese. Could we tell what is happening in the society?

My interest is about is there some kind of "risks" for the Japanese women to have babies? And if yes, what are their concerns?

Another interesting finding is, although there were massive screenings for congenital metabolic diseases for the babies, but in a somewhat odd contrast, intrauterine diagnoses of Down syndrome and other detectable anomalies are not actively performed. Why? Is this a cost problem? Or is this something to deal with the perceptions?

May God help us in understanding.

References: 1. Public Health Japan, 2005

感恩 + 信靠

温暖的教会，有爱心的弟兄姐妹：因为你们的祷告，事工终于有进展了！感谢神！

每一次收到教会的问候信件，心里就觉得很温暖，谢谢。

真得很谢谢你们的祷告！很需要哦！我刚报名念中级日文的文凭课，星期一到星期四中午的时段都要上课。我平时上课的时间都是在星期二和星期五的傍晚，以及星期六的上午。为日本祷告的事工证实在下星期开幕，好耶！每个星期一的下午三点到五点，在一家日本餐厅。很不错吧？接下来要做的事情还有很多，比如确定每个星期要上的教会啦，要参与的特定小组啦等等。

来到香港吓了一跳，大学方面不愿意发宿舍给外国的硕士生，也不让我们申请奖学金。还有，你持的文凭、资格什么的要申请大学的工作比如研究员啊，他们看也不看，原因是因为我的身份是外国学生。挺讨厌的！所以PART-TIME工作时不用想了！但转念想也好！套句话说，我来到香港已经不容易了，要不是上帝开路，这是不可能的。学生事务处告诉我，我的签证是最快了，还把他们吓了一跳！因为香港移民厅不准外国学生念PART-TIME。要是批的话，也是只让你一个星期逗留香港三天，而且通常这样的手续要办上至少八个星期以上。所以在经历奇迹的时候，要感恩。他大概就是断了我这种打工上课的思想，要我全心相信他的供应吧！

我们教会有没有提供奖学金给穷学生？人啊，虽然说靠信心，还是很软弱哦！

信靠主，信靠主，阿们！

Different States Of Mind

Being a Light

I began to see a shift in my mind state, as I prayed about "being a light". The prayer went like this:
(i) Jesus, send me as light. So that people will see, and know that you are God!
(ii) Jesus, send me as light. So that people can come, the devil can hold them no more in darkness or cold!
(iii) Jesus, send me as light. So that I can give people a warm embrace!

When I seriously thought about it, I saw a clear difference in the mind states of these prayers that had been made. Although I had asked for the same thing: Send me as light!

In the states of mind:
First prayer: Your power is great! Reveal through me! Let people see, let themknow, let them not judge me wrongly!
Second prayer: Break the bondage, O God! The devil cannot clutch them in its hand! Free your people!
Third prayer: I'm going in, bringing your light. I'm going to touch them, and hug them with your love!

There were nothing wrong about the three mind states. But there would be a clear difference in what the setting probably would be. The setting of the first two prayers was a setting on stage, perhaps an Evangelical Crusade. The setting of the third somehow was very personal and home base.

???

Maybe you would ask, "What's wrong with her? Why do we need to differentiate these when the outcome is the same? We want to be the light, that's all!"

No, the answer is the outcome will not be the same. "Being the light" is not the outcome that I'm looking at. Maybe to us, yes. But to God, I think to send us being a light, there is a further outcome that he wants to see. That is the impact on the people in his Kingdom and outside his Kingdom door. What interest him is the power of his words that had been released. What we will do or achive will definitely be from our hearts. And our states of mind will be at parellel.

Changing from state to state

While I was praying the first prayer, and I was not on the stage. I was actually saying this, "God, I'm weak, I'm no man of respect of your people. How could I speak? Shine through me! So that people will not see me acting as my own, but I'm acting according to your purpose. O God, let me not be ashamed!" At that state of mind, I would not bravely go out and tell people about God, about eternity, but I would be waiting for a confirmation, an embrace from God, to comfort my soul and my vulnerable state of mind! What I wanted was a confirmation, something like Jeremiah 1:7.

But as I prayed the third prayer, I was ensured, and embraced by God's love. The confidence was there, the hope was there, and therefor I could be the light bearer, to go into disaster states of mind, to begin to recognize, to reconcile, to love and care and tender the wounds in our souls.

Manipulation

The power of mind is great! Our interpretation of message is clearly at the state of our mind. For example, when you are hungry, and you walk down the stairs of your apartment, you begin to smell the fragrance of the roast duck, the sweat, the heat of people going in and coming out from the restraunt, you will be clear that the time is seven o' clock in the evening, and you had not eaten anything from the morning. But when you are full, walking down the stairs of your apartment, you might just see the street, focusing on your task, or you might look at people, seeing the food hanging at the stores, but you would have no desire of tasting it. Walking down the stairs were the same action. But a different physical state has a different manipulation of mind, and that will determine what we would probably do next in a normal circumstance.

May this article bless you as much as it does to me. Amen.

What is taking place in the psychology state in the mind of Japanese to accept Christ?

Perceptions and values in relation to the gospel work in Japan

Risk: decisions and responsibility
When Giddens introduced Risk, he said tradition and habit replaced by diverse claims to (provisional) expertise requiring individual judgments. And when it involves individual judgment, it involves a responsibility that comes with the choice.

In Japan, along its’ way long of history of anti-Christian attitude, even if one would start to see light in the teaching of Christ, it involves a decision to make and a responsibility to follow if they choose to be saved. In Japan, it takes a membership to be registered whether in the shrine, the temple or the church. There is no secret hiding place. Everything is transparent. Therefore, when Japanese decided to accept Jesus into their lives, they are taking a risk. To the society, and its root is deep within every culture, every nation: a loss of social harmony is a moral danger, a threat to our value.

Social harmony: traditional values and challenges (3 settings: the society of Japan, caste system and Pharisees, Christian’s denominations)
As the missionaries in Japan began to query the standard of believes, the set of values of the Japanese in terms of right and wrong, they were often confused with their many gray areas. Right and wrong depends on its specific time, space and condition. There are many grey areas, where the foreigners find it hard to accommodate. Christianity is absolute. There is only one way to God, one way to Heaven. And that is through Jesus Christ. No grey area in this. However, in the traditional practice of Japan, people were brought up with a set of value that was very much considered to the feelings of others. They are very polite people that anything which is to break the social harmony is a crime. So the set of value of Japanese in right and wrong would be antagonizing one’s feeling. Humiliation would cause the Japanese to give up their lives and that is an honorable way of death. This is the truth of a value of society.

Let’s translate the same pattern of thought to the struggles in dealing with caste system in India, or even back to the Old Testaments as how the Pharisees had rebuked Christ, we are dealing with the same thing, which is the value of a society that feel hard to accept challenges to the traditional believes. Social harmony prefers stability. When a new set of values is introduced to the society, and the society is not yet ready to take in the new set of values, it creates instability. People begin to debate, to experiment. This is harmful to a society which is highly social bond. A nail that is stood up must be hammered down. Trying out a new concept that is against everybody’s value is a threat to the social harmony.

Let not try so hard to fit in to the pattern of thinking of this passage. There are many different denominations in Christian practice today. There are Baptists, Methodists, Brethrens Churches, Independent Churches, and Assemblies of God etc. Some moves heavily in prophetic era, some put heavy concentration in words, some put more concentration in experiencing God, and so much more different practice, different emphasize. All these had not loose one focus that is Christ our Savior, the only Son, the only way to Heaven, the one that died and rose for us that took away all our sins, the living God! And that is how we would still basically hold together as brothers and sisters in Christ. But we are not talking about the value of God that we hold dearly today. We talk about practices. Can we speak in tongues in the midst of those who hold doubts to this spiritual gift? Can we sit down and be solemn as others are rejoicing in the presence of Christ. Think carefully before we answer this question. I am talking about exercising this in every service while you are the only charismatic in the midst of the conservatives, or being the only conservative in the midst of the charismatic people.

The value of doing different thing in a society might not be wrong, but it breaks the harmony. It is hard to blend in while you hold a different set of value in a society. It is the same set of value that creates the bond.

Ku Klux Khan is a good example in trying to reject another value system, where it was not even alien to them.

Calculation: risk vs. probabilities – it’s harmful but it might not happen to me!
Let’s take it back again to the gospel work in Japan. Do we expect people to step out of line with their peers and workmates by introducing Jesus to them? If that is so, then we must consider is there a need to change? Are the benefits of change implying to the society or individual? When we talk about psychology in medicine, for a man with a high coronary risk score maybe 20 or even 30 more times as likely to suffer a heart attack as a man with a very low score, to consider the need to make radical changes in his lifestyle, then he needs to know is some absolute measure of his chances, and by how much he could hope to improve them in the foreseeable future

What I am trying to emphasize here is our perception and attribution might not be in parallel. It is our experience, context, belief systems that driven us to make judgments and decisions. Our values and needs stimuli the judgments that we make. For example, a smoker might think, “Would the benefits of health greater than the social stigma of the circle of peers that I live with when I quit smoking?” These are on-going processes in the psychology state of a person who is about to make serious adjustment in his lifestyle.

Is the risk being a Christian more than being a non-Christian in reality? Is the future of the Kingdom unforeseen or it is right in front of us? Our interpretation makes a different! And that comes back to us to the roots in our belief. Are we strong in the knowledge of Christ, do we have that confidence in what we preach? When Apostle Paul spoke to Athens in Acts chapter 17, what had happened?

Change: individuals vs. populations
Friends, I’m writing this so that you will not be discouraged when facing the opposition from the field, and with the long dragging decision to choose to believe in Christ.

It makes little sense to expect individuals to behave differently from their peers. But we have hope in Jesus Christ! We can pray and work towards to seek a general change in behavioral norms and in the circumstances which facilitate their adoption.


Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will praise him, my Savior and my God.
~ Psalm 42: 5



Reference:
NIV. 1987.
Beck. 1991.
Giddens. 1991.
Rose G. 1992.
Lecture notes. Perceptions & Biases. R. Fielding. 1996

将圣经和硕士课程并排

来到香港已经三个星期了，感觉上却像来了一个月。言语上的适应还算好，文化上基本上也无甚差异，但是想家的感觉是特浓。

新的学年 + 动机

上完了暑假课程，现在开始进入新学年的课程了。阅读的材料很多，时间可以很从容，也可以很繁忙，就在于自己想从这门学问里得益多少。这期间，我不断地问自己，我到底来香港干什么，是为人，是为己，还是为主？在任何一个层面里，三个因素是不多不少都存在的。感谢主，在静静观察的这段时间里，我益发相信上帝带我来这里上公共卫生学（PublicHealth)是有前因后果的。

敏锐和批判

我发现我脑袋里的一些理论和近年来的一些预备，和社会研究脱离不了关系。公共卫生学的硕士课程需要学习的东西很多，而且都是从生活上去学习。换言之，我需要有很敏锐的触觉，很前卫的理想，很批判性的审决力。我想，建立教会和开荒，是非常需要这一点的。正因为这一点，我不再质疑我自己的动机，因为要在这门课上和教会和圣经学里扯上关系是我不曾想过的。

禾场

我有个构思，就是将圣经和这里所学的任何一课，并排着一起念。这样会花上很多时间，可能别人会觉得无需这样做。但是我想这个训练对我来说是有益的。我希望自己将来传福音的时候，能够很清晰地分析这个社会的各个状态理念，并且不将神搁之于外。很多科学家，哲学家，在谈论他们的论学的时候，神成了一个副论，将信仰放在教会里面，我觉得这样的人格很两极化。在处理事情上是简单很多，但是对于我来说，是弊不是利。

要是我将学术界当作我的禾场，学术当成我的途径，那我的剑就需要磨得锋利。请就这一点为我祷告，希望我这样做的时候，在同学和老师面前不会引发太大的争议。我要是能公开这样而行，对我来说是有好处的，那我可以省下更多的时间，还可以发挥光和盐的作用，而且将来的走向也不至引来太大的争议。

请为我祷告，我觉得我这个想法，就算在信徒之间也未必能够被接受的，好像有点骇人听闻似的。在缺乏信心的情况下，要一方扩展神的国度的理念，会很难。Heart4Japan 也会因为我现在的走向令人难以接受吧。

一节火车

但我想，这总是神的事工，神的心意啊！我不过是一节火车，行在这个轨道上。我沿着轨道走，纵然没有人登上这节火车厢，下一节火车厢还是有人会登上去的。我的这节车厢，能不能上人，还是充当一个警觉、信号，是神的意思啊。我能够做的，只是沿着轨道走下去。车长是主耶稣，不是吗？算了，我既不想寂寞，也不想弄脏车厢，又不想不按时跑，哈哈哈。我到底想干什么呢？我想还是顺从耶稣的意思，好过自己的意思吧。

轨道是好的，车长也是好的，那车厢不愿行，那不是抛锚了？那车长要愿意休息，车厢到要继续跑，那不是听容易出轨吗？就像现在这个时候，我找房子的这段时间，我自己尽管着急，但是心里觉得车长正休息着，我是盲忙。当我理解这一点的时候，我开始允许自己放缓脚步，融入他的安息，感觉还真像充电一样！

感谢神，他的恩典是满满的！

笑一笑和上帝的恩典

笑一笑：

正当我照着镜子，叹着岁月不留人的时候，昨天有个阿伯充当天使安慰了我。话说昨天，我因为天上下着滂沱大雨，于是和同学一同乘车到了中环的一家购物商场吃中饭。在玻璃门外边的行人天桥上，有一个阿伯，手上提着许多外卖，还提着雨伞，看起来重的样子。于是我冲上前去给他开门，小事一椿，但他感激得很，就边走边和我说话。他一直称我"阿妹"，我就顺口应他。他说，"阿妹啊，你真好人。还在念书吗？"我答，"啊，是在念书。"他就说，"好啊，你在那儿念书啊？"我就答他，"我在港大啊！"他听了，停了一下，就正经地向我解说，"港大啊，不错。但是是第三好的大学啊，最好的是"波记"大学啊！"我一听，兴趣可来了，还有"波记"大学啊！于是就瞪大眼睛问他，"波记"大学在哪儿啊?然后他转头问我另一个问题，你在大学几年班啊？我很想回他说，一年班。但是想想，还是不好骗人吧，就答他，"我在念硕士班。"他就唔的一声。后来啊，我们就转头走不同的路了，没几步，他转了回来，大声地问我，"阿妹，你有二十岁了没？" 我噗嗵笑了出来，忙点头。哎呀，我原来样子还不太老啊。感谢神。

耶稣的恩典够我用：

今天我上了北角的国际基督教神召会，我终于可以开始融入敬拜了，能够再一次听见神在聚会里跟自己很亲切地说话的那种感觉实在太好了！我足足有两个星期在教会里总是有点像旁观者的感觉，格格不入的。今天，我终于又听见上帝跟我说话了。在赞美敬拜里，在经文分享里，实在太棒了！更感恩的事，上帝在我的苦闷里拉了我一把。

软弱

其实我很软弱，我这几天都在想，我为什么来这里？我为什么离开爱我的家，支持我的教会，来到一个陌生的地方？为什么放弃一大片的薪水，现在要像孩子一样的重新开始？我原来是克制着自己不去这样想的。于是我说，上帝啊，我是因为你而来的。但是，我来的目的是什么了？是因为我想得到上帝的赞许和允准吗？我似乎很担心别人怎么看我，我总担心我做错了什么。然后，我盯着上帝说，主啊，我信靠你！其实我的肚子里，咕噜咕噜第一大堆难受。思乡啊，想家啊，念着教会阿，满肚子委屈！我今天敬拜的时候，赫然发现，主在十字架上为我所留的血正是我的依靠啊！

小信

我的信心多小啊，正当我以为自己已经跨越极大的信心，辞工，来香港念书，抱着Heart4Japan的理想的时候，我其实没什么。信心的门是一道又一道，我的眼睛在每横过一扇门的时候，就注目在另一个定点了。我开始注意到自己的周遭环境，开始去衡量得失，我为自己焦急，为Heart4Japan的拓展和是不是该找工作，是不是该学习日文等等的，我的心总是不能安静下来。我还想怎样让别人支持我，为我祷告，在经济上支援我，我突然发现自己在香港变得好土，好不潇洒，我想回家！

异像

我给自己一个很美的解释，我来香港是为了神的国度！我是背负着任务而来的，我向自己说。但是今天，神提醒了我一件事。我看见了自己在十字架前，主在十字架上，我好像置身在一幅油画里面，他在十字架上垂下来的手握住我的手，我另一只手无力得撑住地面，我原来块沉下去了，但是他紧紧的温柔的牢牢的将我捉紧，将我扶起来。我终于记得了，我当初的热诚和爱。

唤醒的记忆

我回应是为了主的爱，是因为感受到他真实完全没有保留的爱。我回应只是因为听见主在说："谁为我去呢？"没有条件，正如他爱我，为我牺牲的时候，没有设任何条件一样。这是我在这里真正的原因，我到日本去真正的原因，我愿意背负Heart4Japan的原因！是没错为了国度，但是更真切的是因为他的爱。 然而当我碰见了困难，一步一步地走将下去，我的目光逐渐变成狭窄，我只看见了国度。在他的深情厚爱里，我忽视了他对我的爱！


这真是很好的一个提醒，很响的一个巴掌。我祷告的时候很清楚自己并没有走在圣灵的旨意之外，无论是来香港，还是念Masters of Public Health，我都很清楚他在带领着我。甚至是现在的住处，我的临时工作，我的coursemates。盗贼想偷去我的平安和喜乐，偷不了，但是我却差点不经意地任由他将我的爱情偷去了。我羞愧得很，也高兴得很，因为主让我寻回了我的爱情。

咬牙的坚持

所以今天下午，我纵然感受到和日本人之间的那个距离，但是主支撑着我，我知道我来这里不是为了这个日本教会，而且我们都是同时热切地爱着神的。他们既是感觉不到位日本祷告的事工的逼切性，即使是遄测猜疑我的目的，那也没关系。对他们来说，我不过是一过客，那循着常理，也是自然不过的事。我相信，主要是决意让我们合作，他会自己跟他们说话的。至于我，他给我的任务是去众教会点起一把为日本祷告的火把，那我就安心去做吧！事要如何的行，我不懂。但是我想，既然他是车长，我是一节火车，那我总会碰上另一节火车，一节一节的连接起来。

为日本祷告不是很清楚是他的旨意吗？主既然能够将一个从来也没有祷告恩赐和代祷念头的人唤出来代祷，那这个事工肯定不是一个人能够做出来的事工，索性把我放去日本就好了。既然他做了那么多预备的功夫，那我就应该安然的静心等待。时间长短在他的掌控里定然有一个最好的安排。我要信！信是所望之事的实底，未见之事的确据。

见证再一次的绝志

这是我的告白，请你们在这里为我的再一次决志作一个见证，也请大家为我代祷。求主赦免我的不义，感谢主耶稣，我愿意相信你爱我，你对我的爱不亚于对日本的爱。求主原谅我的不成熟，并且谢谢主一切的供应。求主赐给我平安，自在，喜乐的心。叫我安静在你的里面，知道你是神。你是我的神，也是外帮人的神。这个身份不会因我们世人的选择而改变。在造我以前，你已经知道我，你已经细心的将我记在你的生名册上，你是阿拉法，也是哦么嘎。你叫我在你的爱里坚强。谢谢你，耶稣。我爱你，愿将自己再一次献上给你，请你帮助我守着这一个一生的约定。阿门。

爱心的醒觉

启示录2：4然而又一件事我要责备你，就是你把起初的爱心离弃了。


我们可以口里说爱神，我们可以有很多很好的行为，但是心里最底处，我们有个不为人知的底线。很多时候，连自己也不知道。但是知道了，也并不足以叫我们自我批判，因为我们不审判自己，也不审判别人，只有神当作公义的审判者。真理在于神，也只有神才是完全的真理。我们可以错，但神不会错。当我们对神有足够的信心的时候，方能够踏出信心的脚步。当上帝应许亚伯拉罕后裔的时候，足足等了25年。其间，亚伯拉罕有不少信心的踏步，也有不少怯步和错误，但是神不离弃我们。他的祝福不会食言。求神帮助我们。




注："波记"大学原来是科技大学。我可能太累，听错了。哈哈。"波记"大学，像茶餐厅的名字。

上帝的超恩典！愿你平安 ：-）

真是超幸福感！我的房间面对着大海，现在处于早晨六点，在一片清澈的蔚紫色里给你写信。微紫色该是深蓝色渗入了红霞吧，哇塞！蔚紫色的一片天很快就要成鱼肚白了。我住的这里叫做海怡半岛，在香港的南部，对面是南丫岛，听说是很贵的一个单位。

我是怎么住进来的？若非上帝的恩典，应该不成吧。我现在的实际情况上暂时住上的。有个教会的姐妹看见我开始的时候每天从粉岭去大学，觉得特辛苦，就邀请我过来，让了孩子的房给我睡。超好人的吧！虽说来自同一间教会，我还是来到这里才认识人的。这几天再逼切找房子的时候（觉得住太久不好，了别打扰了别人的常规生活），却觉得上帝在休息，似乎在嘱咐我别忙，安静，知道他是神。

我希望能找一间房子住的学校近一点，可以省下巴士的费用，和午餐钱。要是我能够找到一件大概二千左右的房间，省吃俭用一点，我想大约马币2千五会足够我一个月的开销的。我借了一些翻译的工作来作，可惜这种工作不是时常有，但是感谢神，才来这里不久，就能够找到一份翻译的工作已经不错了！加上这个月住在朋友的家人，吃喝住的方面省下了不少。在香港这个地方，头几个月的开销可能会重一点，但是安顿下来后，以后的生活就应该可以好办很多。感谢主，就享受他的带领吧！

我目前定时上北角的一间日本教会，今天打算去上它的儿童主日学，我像这样可以学习日文吧！要真正融入他们的圈子里不容易，需要很多的时间和耐心。我目前还在寻求上帝的意思，这一间日本教会可能只是一个联络点，而非我禾场的重心。我自己也想找一间能够培养我的教会，一个牧者去见证我在这段时间的成长。然而，好像还不是时候。就好像找房子的事情一样，他似乎都在叫我静心等待。

天色已经全亮了！开始看见船只陆续不断地进出港口。船上所装载的是人，是货，还是希望？出航的航标是理想，还是生活？

愿你愉快。你的前面是理想，是生活，还是希望？但愿耶稣是我们的舵！

我还是需要一些时间去适应这里的生活环境，和种种生活常规的操作方式。神祝福。

Home Sick

My Mom...Please continue to uphold my family in your prayers. Especially for my mom, I could feel some distress somehow in the tone of the emailing. But honestly she had been extremely encouraging!!! Bravo! I'm really proud of her.

Home Sick...
And here am I, feeling terribly homesick, just after 19 days. What a terrible missionary I would make.

Getting Clearer...
I'm getting clearer now about the choices that had been made, for the course and the location. I began to be more convinced that He had brought me here, to the study of Masters in Public Health. It's exciting to see how things fall into place. I'll let you know further in the next letter.

Accomodation...
Meanwhile, I need to find an accommodation which is cheap and good. A place that enables me to have easily assess to church, to school, to H4J cell group with minimum cost. Please pray for me that I would not rush into decision but He will leads me in all the decisions I make at this moment. Finding a place to stay seems to be the most crucial subject to me at this moment.

Keep Faith...
Keep me in your prayers! Our Father had been faithfully providing for my needs. Please pray that I will not be shaken, walking in Faith takes a lot more than I thought... God is GOOD!


Strive...
I heard that Yean and Pauline are still praying for Japan! That's excellent! Thanks!