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Sunday, April 12, 2009
The アルバイト Arubaito Experience
The アルバイト experience was ....... 楽しかったreally fun! 疲れましたreally tired.
I was told that my first day working with them was 『特別忙しい』(unusually busy) and my second day was『特別暇』(unusually free). However I tried quite a lot of different things as well... eg. making hamburger, washing dishes, cutting and preparing, arranging お弁当obento, looking after the shop, packing.
I remember when I was asked to serve water to the customer, I was so panic...... I didn't know what to say to the customer, I didn't know much about the food, the number of the tables, I wasn't sure about the price, I didn't really understand what they want, I was just freaking out!
What I felt at that moment? 『やぱい，逃げる欲しい。』(Dangerous, I just wanted to run away!) When a customer comes in, everyone from the front to the back will shout, 『いらっしゃいませ Welcome！』 and when a customer goes out, everyone from the front to the back will shout, 『ありがとうございます Thank you！』 it just seemed so impossible for me to shout with such confidence voice 私に絶対無理と思う。I felt strange.
It's not about being shameful or embarrassed, it was just not feeling "comfortable" at doing so. And because it is not "comfortable", I preferred not to do so. "Comfortable" become the keyword of this situation, 『行けるとか行けないとか CAN or CANNOT』.
Perhaps the feeling of hikikomori people is not much different from that experience: 『無理、絶対無理！行けない！』Probably feeling strange, feeling uncomfortable are the key emotions that they have. If that's true, then we will feed "feeling strange" with "understanding", and "feeling uncomfortable" with "encouragement/embracing love"?
Hope that this will challenge us to think alternatively.