Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Intimidated by sight
Just came back from Akita for the random job and house hunting. My peace to move to Akita grow, yet in contrast the reality is disturbing. Finding it very difficult to get a university position in Akita, the program, funding, project, connection etc.... turning my back to the opportunities in Tokyo can be nevertheless a stubborn, seemingly unwise decision. Will I have enough fund to run the "Faith, Hope and Love Ministry 光希屋カフェ" without having a stable income? Will I be able to sustain for more than six months without a stable job? Will I be able to continue to bridge the findings of the research into the field, and do otherwise without having a faculty position? I need to pray that if I will need to walk this step, then I will not be intimidated by sight of limitations. I also pray that the way that the Lord prepared ahead of me will be visible and sensible to the people who love and seriously concern about me.
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Rose, I don't want to tell you to just jump in wholeheartedly, you'll be fine! It's is so very very clear! God is with you!...If it isn't the thing to do. I don't know.
I do just want to let you know that I am praying for you in whatever and wherever He is leading you. To strengthen your faith in Him and know that whatever you ask, the Father grants it to you as a gift to His son. I know it's hard when it looks so bleak, but you seem to know it's sight that you're maybe looking at more.
I listened to a Timothy Keller sermon recently from I believe his first year planting a church in NYC, and he made an interesting point on social causes and being heard.
A voice doesn't carry the weight with just knowledge and academia and theory. What gives you that right to be truly heard is when you have been an impact. It's that love that can be seen. When the city and the educators come to you because they have to ask. What is it? Why does the unconditional love work for these people? How are these outcasts able to have lasting change? A university position this early could be knowledge that puffs up without love. A flourishing blessed unconditionally loved community of truly transformed people may lead to a significant university position later. But I don't know myself, I'm just saying from what I 'see' in my reality removed from actually being there...
I'm stretching a bit much relating what I heard to this specifically, but I do just want you to know that you are being prayed for. You, my sister, are deeply loved by a Sovereign Shepherd. Trust Him wherever you are lead.
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