I spent an overnight in the office so that I could work while waiting for mom. Needed to get her at the airport by 7.30am, needed to get a train by 6.10am at Ueno.
Nov 5, 2011 (Saturday)
Still working...
grabbed last piece of note from the printer at 5.30am, and ran to Ueno station, cutting through the University Hospital... gate was closed. I looked at the board helplessly, it said, "Gate open at 6am". No time to run back for another way... I climbed over the fence, and started running. I didn't know the shortcut cutting through the Ueno Park, so I decided to use the long way... fearing missing train, I ran my lung out.
My record from my department to Ueno station, 20 minutes. I got on to the train.
Mom arrived Narita.
The luggage was fulled with herbs and things for me. We pulled the heavy luggage home, reached home by about 11am.
We both tried to rest for a while. Then we went out for a gathering with friends, the theme was ART Therapy that evening. T went with us. I had a long chat with T that day. Friends made some special Japanese candies for mom. Mom loves that gathering, it was indeed fruitful evening.
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| mom's first painting |
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| T's first painting |
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| My first painting |
Nov 6-7, 2011 (Sunday - Monday)
Mom and me went outing.
The Lord blessed us with amazing sceneries that even the tour guide was amazed for he seen it for the first time after so many trips. The rainy weather drew out hundreds of waterfalls, and amazing huge rainbows. When we reached the mountain top, the usual misty view became clear, and we were able to see miles away. The grumpy tour guide became excited.
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| rainbow in the morning at Nagano |
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| 立山 |
Nov 8, 2011 (Tuesday)
I went back to school to work. Mom stayed at home to rest. I had seminar presentation the next day, confused, feared, terrible experience. Again another untouched new field. Getting sick....
There was one more thing that I wanted to do, even though I couldn't make hikikomori as my PhD, I wanted to present my work on hikikomori, I wanted my colleagues to know, and I wanted to call on people's attention of what should be done.
Nov 9, 2011 (Wednesday)
Prof. thrown me harsh questions in the morning session. I didn't understand what he really want. But I felt that I needed to correct something in the presentation, praying, working, praying... mom was there with me. She began to witness the process of the making of the presentation. Maki tried to comfort me, I couldn't stop my tears. It must be the fault of the medication.
I did a successful presentation, according to my colleagues, through not much updates or practical procedures. I was amazed of my appeared calmness during presentation. God must have been there with me. We had a celebration party after that, for the birthday stars, the pregnant moms, the finished of my presentation, and so many others... I was like a dead fish after that, Mieko rewarded me with a great massage.
Nov 10 - 12, 2011 (Thursday - Saturday)
In Tokushima for the Child Mental Health conference.
I learned so much.
Yet, still in depression.
Got in touch with a few great teachers, yet I couldn't write anything.
Received an email replied by Prof. Osada, became clearer with some set in ideas. Grateful.
A river that runs through Tokushima City, reminded me about Melaka.
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| The Statue of Awa Odori (Awa Dance) |
Nov 12, 2011 (Saturday)
Reached home at about 8pm. Mom cooked.
Still depressed.
Nov 13, 2011 (Sunday)
Brought mom to school again, get ready some notes to study during my leave.
Took pictures, made maps for mom, trying the best to secure her not to get lost.
Felt so uncertain, took courage to send an email to a few friends from Malaysia, hoping that some may be nice enough to offer help in taking care of mom while I am hospitalized.
Michael responded immediately, thanks God.
We took a walk to Ueno Park and Ameyoko.
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| mom at Ueno Park |
Nov 14, 2011 (Monday)
Admitting to hospital.
So many procedures... briefing, discussions with doctors and nurses.
I began to learn that this is a rare chance to learn about procedures for admitting into a hospital, operations etc, as first hand experience.
Michael came to visit me in the evening, helped mom with a place to stay while waiting for my procedure tomorrow. I had more peace in mind.
Nov 15, 2011 (Tuesday)
At 6am, the nurse woke us up.
While waiting, I drew another two pictures.
Michael came with my mom at 7.30am.
The doctor pushed me to the operation room, Mom and Michael bid me goodbye.
I remembered that the doctor put an oxygen mask on me, in a few breathe, I was back to the ward.
The time in the operation room was lost.
Without knowing when and how they opened up on me, it was finished with pain.
The medical staffs tried to talk to me, I couldn't remember much.
But I guess I saw mom, she was worried, and probably some friends was around her.
Pain, was all I could remember.
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| the ward |
Nov 16, 2011 (Wednesday)
The nurse practiced walking with me... pain... yet we tried...
We managed to walk for 4 meters.
The nurse was very caring and kind, she praised my effort, and gave me comfortable words.
When we returned to the bed, she removed the drainage. I had to learn to urine by myself.
I tried to go to the toilet every two hours, knowing that it was always slow for me in re-adapt.
Pain, continued...
The next thing to do after urine was to wait for the gas.
Pain, continued...
Thirst....... no water until the gas escapes successfully from my bowel.
Pain...
Thirst....
I thought I saw Midori at the door, praying for me.
Nov 17, 2011 (Thrusday)
About 10am, I finally farted. Relieved.
I had my first drip of water. Cough began.
I went to talk to the girl next to my bed, hope that she wouldn't get nervous as she saw a terrible me.
Brought her the origami flowers and swan that Midori made.
They brought me my first food, porridge water with miso soup, and an ice-cream!!!
It was the best porridge that I ever had. Guess I finished my food so fast, that I got stomach pain...
pain, continued...
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| a bouquet of flowers |
I began to have visitors.
A friend that I made during the outpatient visit, brought another friend to visit me. Both of them brought me a bouquet of flowers.
All visitors only stayed for about 5-10 minutes.
Even the shortest stay brightened up my life in each visit.
I was able to talk to Midori this time. It was a good time of sharing. She also explained to me how the origami works.
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| Midori with her origami |
Cough continued, the pain continued.....
In midnight, the cough was worse.... I woke up with coughing in every two hours.
Nov 19, 2011 (Friday)
The doctor explained to me what kind of procedures that they have done.
Because of the volume and the size of the fibroid, it was a difficult procedure, but it was a very successful one. (I later learned from another patient that she had an assisted Laparoscopic as hers was 8cm big. I could not hold my praise to the Lord, for mine was shrink to 7cm big, and another one 5cm big)
More people came and visit me. I was happy.
My condition was more stable too. They still brought lunch to my bed.
Friends from Kashiwa came,
Colleagues from my department came,
Friends came,
Juniors came,
In the evening, Jun-kun came too. お久しぶりに~
we had long chat.
My Malaysian friends were all super kind, in helping me to take care of my mom!!! Bringing her back, bringing her for meals, encouraging her with kind words.... what more can I ask?
The cough continued, getting worse.
I realized that the cough was caused by the irritation of the throat, and the location was deeper everytime. It seemed to me that the muscle of my throat was waking up little by little.
Nov 19, 2011 (Saturday)
The cough was really really bad...
I got tired really easily, but I finished another painting.
Subha came to visit, it was a fine good catch up. :-)
Friends from Kashiwa came with a lot of fruits. I was really glad for the time to catch up.
Would discharge tomorrow.
I began to pray for friendship that I built in this place will grow and become fruitful.
May the love of the Lord shines.
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| Scenery from the hospital canteen |
Nov 20, 2011 (Sunday)
Two friends came to help me for discharge.
Zhang and T .
Mom had heavy dose of caffeine last night, and was late this morning. :-)
I took a bath, washed my hair before discharged.
We took a taxi home.
Zhang helped us to get a taxi.
T came back with us to help out with luggage.
T stayed for lunch.
We chatted more, and began to discover more of his potentials.
T went home in peace.
Nov 21, 2011 (Monday)
Mom urged me to take a walk.
I walked out from the room, made a circle, still feeling pain. Had to go on pills.
The cough finally stopped.
Praise God.
Nov 22, 2011 (Tuesday)
The day of follow up visit in the hospital. (huh? two days after discharged?)
Mom was afraid that I couldn't walk much, she was preparing to call a taxi.
I prayed, and felt that I could handle the walk. Anywhere, I needed to start walking.
The doctor expected me to be fine.
Prof. expected me to hand in the proposal in the beginning of Dec, I needed to be fine.
Able to walk to the train stations by myself was good sign!
The doctor said my wound healed amazingly (非常にきれい).
No trace of remaining fibroid, no water retaining in my stomach.
I past the test.
Plasters were removed. I saw my wounds for the first time.
Now
Now, I am settled to rest at home, work from home, until the next class/seminar on Nov 29.
On Nov 29, another 2 friends that I made in the hospital would be admitted, and have their operation dealed.
Thank you God for granting me fast healing.
Lord, I pray for comfort and peace in the hearts of my 2 friends too.
My depression gets better after the surgery. Now I understood that the pressure and stress while waiting for the procedures made people nervous and depressed unknowingly.
At the end, I deeply felt in debt to whom who had helped us in this journey, including prayers and practical help. Especially to my Malaysian friends who had responded to the appeal, signed up a volunteer sheet to assist my mom in finding her way home: Michael, Lew Ah, Cheryl, Ken, Lin Hui Jeng kae, Keoh Serne, Sofiah, Subha and some others that names that I did not know. May God bless each one of them richly!!!
